THESIS: A time I overcame a great obstacle in my life when I had to adapt to the school system in the U.S.


               POD: My adaptation was very difficult because of the new language, but I overcame it by

                        studying English hard.



                TOPIC SENTENCE #1: my English knowledge diminished my 10th grade success


              DETAIL#1: I had trouble in grammar


                             EXAMPLE: I did not know how to write very well in English class.


                              EXAMPLE: I did not pay attention in my English classes in Colombia.


              DETAIL#2: I did not speak good English


                             EXAMPLE: my classmates made fun of me.


                             EXAMPLE: I could not communicate efficiently. 


              DETAIL#3: I was failing two classes (health and driverís ed)


                              EXAMPLE: the classes were not bilingual.


                              EXAMPLE: I had to give the same performance as in my other classes.



                TOPIC SENTENCE #2: I overcame this problem by learning English on my own.



                DETAIL#1: my classmatesí mean comments made me study hard.


                              EXAMPLE: I showed them I could do it by improving my grades. 

                             EXAMPLE: I tried to practice by speaking to my classmate although they ignored me. 


                DETAIL#2: I did extra activities to learn some more. 

                              EXAMPLE: my father bought me an English course.


                              EXAMPLE: I watched with English subtitles.


                DETAIL#3: I started to ďliveĒ in English.


                              EXAMPLE: I tried to think in English.



                              EXAMPLE: I spoke in English in all places.




I learn that it took more effort on my part to learn English. As a result, I graduated with 24 credits in three years and I passed the FCAT.










Thesis- In my life, I had to encountered lots of decisions from when I was young until now, but this decision was the toughest to make as a child.



Topic Sentence:  New York is where I first opened my eyes to the world

Detail 1- Raised in Queens

            Ex.- Grew up with my mom and her side of the family

            Ex.- The only place I ever knew

Detail 2- Where I was when I would be with my family

            Ex.- My cousins

Ex.- My close friends

Detail 3- Where I had my ďfirst timeĒ experiences

            Ex.- Walk to school by myself

            Ex.- Opening hydrogens and playing on the streets in summer 



Topic Sentence- Being born and raised in New York and leaving it all.

Detail 1- It was hard to separate from the people I grew up with

            Ex.- I lived with my grandmother most of my life.

            Ex.- I always went out with my cousins and close friends.

Detail 2- Didnít want to leave my surroundings

            Ex.- My neighborhood

            Ex.- My family

Detail 3- Didnít want to erase the goals and dreams I had

            Ex.- A successful person in my hometown

            Ex.- growing up with my close friends and family for a long time



Topic Sentence- The turning point of my life

Detail 1- Iím leaving everything I know out of surprise

            Ex.- I wasnít there when my mother decided to move

            Ex.- Didnít have time to see everyone when I left

Detail 2- Having to restart my life

            Ex.- New people

            Ex.- New place

Detail 3- Getting use to somewhere completely opposite

            Ex.- Tropical scenery

            Ex.- Year round heat



After all of this that Iíve experienced since a child, I grew up to think more independent and make my own decision instead of someone else enforcing it to me, and always reminiscing where Iím from and who raised me to become who I am.